A Good Thang
One more year has passed and you are still single. Your friends are either engaged or newly married. Some of your friends are even expecting their first child. You have asked yourself over and over. “Why am I still single” or Is It Me”?
Will you allow me to be honest with you? (slight pause )
Yes, it is you. I know that may seem harsh but please continue reading. It is you.(inhale) Although, it is you, it does not mean that YOU are doing something wrong (exhale). It either simply is not your time yet or you need a renewed mindset.
I recall writing my Grandmother a letter while in college explaining to her that I wanted to be married by 23. I may have been 19 or 20 at that time. In my eyes, I had time to meet, court, be fianced (ha) and then become an amazing wife. I had my entire life all mapped out. As a natural planner, this was totally normal behavior in my world. I told GOD what I wanted and I gave him a deadline. (Bold, huh). Of course, that didn’t happen. I MET my Husband 2 months before I turned 24. This was not the plan that I had made when I was 19.
I actually met my husband at a time where I wasn’t looking for a relationship. For the first time in YEARS, I was content in my singleness. I was tired of casual dating. Casual dating leads to casual kissing (which according to Mr.Brown leads to pregnancy) which leads to casual sex which leads to soul-ties. Living this type of lifestyle grows tiresome. In my season of being content God sent my Husband. Is he a perfect Husband? No, but I’m not a perfect Wife either. We were positioned to fulfill our purposes together.
Let me explain why it is you. There are just a few reasons.
1.) You are not operating in your season of contentment.
God knows the desires of your heart. He hears your prayers and he wants the best for you. Before you can give your heart to your Husband, give your heart to your Father. It will make being a wife much easier. The scripture “Wives submit yourself to your own husbands, as you do to the Lord Eph. 5:22 will be a way of life. Marriage will have tough times and you can’t give up. There may be times where the two of you are not on the same page. You will need to have a steady relationship with your Father to make it through that season. If you are not content with your single season, you will not be content within your marriage. Marriages have seasons and each season requires much of you.
2.) You are comparing yourself to those around you.
This is very easy to do. We as women can become caught up in the highlights of our friends and families lives. We must be reminded that God has us cradled in his arms. God plans for us are better than we could ever imagine for ourselves. When you compare your life to the lives of friends, you may miss what they endured. Most people show the joys of their lives because the pain was so intense. For example: Your friend Jenny just gave birth to a beautiful set of twins. You say quietly to yourself, Jenny has two- I wish I had a child. What you don’t know is that Jenny suffered three miscarriages before giving birth to the twins. When you compare your life to others, you place limits on what God has for your life.
3.) You dont Trust God.
You have to believe that God adores you. Marriage is pleasing in His sight. He is aware that you want to honor Him with your life and body. Now honor Him with your mind. Allow Him to fill any voids you may have. Allow Him to lead and to guide you. God does not operate by our standards of time. Be fulfilled through your personal relationship with Him. Become so consumed with His Word and your prayer life that all you desire is God’s approval. Trust Him and be Faithful. God honors those who Honor Him First.
This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. (1 John 5:14)